August 28, 2017

What No One Wants to Say About Miscarriage



I hesitated sharing this with everyone, but I fear not talking about it is not doing myself or anyone any justice. If you follow me on social media, you will know that I am currently pregnant with our rainbow baby (a baby that is born following a miscarriage, still birth, neonatal death or infant loss). What you don't know is right before we conceived our little miracle, we suffered a loss as well. Below is that story.

In May 2017, hubby and I found out some very exciting news that we were expecting our second child who would be due on January 17, 2018. Unfortunately, at 5 weeks pregnant, I also found out I was having an early miscarriage. It was something I always knew was a possibility but never imagined would happen to us. Before losing our child, I always felt sorry for expecting mothers who lost their child to a miscarriage but I honestly never truly understood how that felt. Since going through the process of a miscarriage (yes, this is a process. It doesn't not happen overnight), I've had more awkward and uncomfortable things be said to me that if only people were more educated or had a bit more empathy for those experiencing a miscarriage, then it could help make that person feel that much better that they can get through it. 

I'm going to share some important and extremely blunt statements of things I have experienced during this process. There may be some TMI, and it may get a little dark...but these are things you need to know so you can support any loved one who has to endure this.

1. A miscarriage, specifically an "early miscarriage" should not be treated like it's just a late period. 
The cramping and bleeding you experience during a miscarriage is nothing like a period. The cramps are sometimes painful, and a constant reminder of what is happening to you. The bleeding is excessive and it takes everything in you to go about your normal day and try to get through it. I can feel a piece of my heart breaking as my body removes the last of my former child-to-be. I don't wish that feeling on anyone. But I can tell you, this is NOTHING like having a period. This is heartbreaking, depressing and defeating. A miscarriage is not something that happens within one day or night. A woman goes through this for sometimes a week or more, depending on how far along they are.

2. Don't ever say "at least it happened this early".
At least it happened early? Are you serious? And I won't turn this into a political debate of whether this is a baby or a "fetus". This is MY baby! And I lost him/her. When a woman receives a positive pregnancy test, in that moment everything changes. They change their entire lifestyle, watch the food they eat, watch what they drink, take vitamins just for their baby. They feel a deep connection and dream about what their new family will be like together. Whether he or she will enjoy the same things as they do. What will he/she grow up to be like? How will your other children connect with the new baby? This flashed through my head in the short two weeks I knew I was carrying my new baby. There is no "at least". It is painful at any time.

3. Others, even healthcare professionals, need to think before they speak.
After sharing the unfortunate news of our miscarriage with those we had previously shared our good news with, I could feel the awkwardness begin. No one knew what to say. Every "I'm so sorry" felt like a dagger going through my heart. And while everyone meant well, it still feels awful. I've had a few people make really inappropriate statements and pose assuming questions to me which felt like I was sucker punched. One person told me about how they felt there as such a huge baby boom going on right now and how everyone we knew was pregnant. Really? Not me...thanks for reminding me of that. After getting the official word on our miscarriage, my doctor requested I visit the hospital for another RhoGAM shot (typically for pregnant women who have negative blood types, missing the Rh factor in their blood). Normally, a pregnant women wouldn't receive this shot until much later in their pregnancy, but as a precaution it is also given to those who miscarry. Now, I'm a fairly petite woman. And while I don't like when people make assumptions on pregnancies, I think it was pretty clear which of the scenarios for receiving this shot I fell into. Yet still, I had two labor & delivery nurses ask me "when is your due date/how far along are you?" and I needed to make everyone uncomfortable by saying I actually just found out an hour ago I miscarried. Then trying to hold back the tears and pretend it's okay so everyone can move on with the conversation is even worse. Can everyone just be a little more conscious of the words that come out of our mouths? And that includes myself. You never realized how badly such simple words can hurt people until you're the one hurting.

4. There is a sense of guilt you just can't shake.
I felt like I was holding on to this pregnancy really hard. There was a point right before the miscarriage where I felt off. For some reason I remembered "feeling pregnant" with my son, and this time I did not. I ran to the pharmacy to test again to double check and felt immediate relief when I saw two positive tests right away. Two days later is when I miscarried. You know it is not your fault, but you can't help but feel deep down that somehow it is. That your body failed you and your child. You look around and see all of the women who are successfully pregnant and wonder why you can't be. I kept thinking of all those couples who go through multiple miscarriages or infertility and how they still have hope that their baby is coming. I felt guilty for feeling so upset when those people go through this heartbreak over and over. I felt guilty for not giving my son all the attention he deserves while I grieved.

5. Honestly, I felt numb. 
My brain just hadn't caught up with my body on what is happening. I found myself for weeks after in a complete fog. I caught myself staring off into space, not being fully present with my family. I felt the tears welling up behind my eyes and the lump in the back of my throat as I try to hide my emotions so no one else feels uncomfortable. I wondered how I'll get past this and try again. How do I get to that place where I feel OK to move on? How can I honor the baby I'll never get to hold?

6. I felt alone in all of this.
It's important to remember, you are in fact NOT alone in this. Your husband/partner must go through it also. Unfortunately, it's easy to feel alone when your body is the one going through it. Specifically with early miscarriages, it's hard to communicate your feelings knowing you've already connected with your baby and your partner may not have. To them, it is pretty sad and unfortunate but may not be as soul crushing of a feeling as you are feeling right now. I was really lucky to have people in my life to help explain what I was going through to my husband so he knew how to be more supportive during this time. And he has been great. He's let me cry when I need to, and let me laugh when I need to not think of it. 


I know this post seems more like I'm just rambling but it's part of my process and something I really wanted to share. If you or someone you know has gone through this, just know it's more common than you think and you aren't alone. I want to break this stigma there is that we just shouldn't talk about miscarriage as if those babies don't matter and it's too morbid to discuss. It's serious and just being there for someone going through it can really help. I'm fortunate enough to have family around that don't mind listening, but everyone deserves to have someone.  

For the rest of my life Mother's Day will be different, my baby's due date will be hard, and the stories we tell our kids will include their brother or sister that should be with us but can't be.

I also hope that reading this gives others in this situation hope.  We were extremely fortunate to follow our miscarriage with a so far health pregnancy. Miscarriage is something that hurts the heart badly. But I am confident that those who go through it or other painful losses will get their sticky rainbow baby soon. It will never replace the baby that almost was, but it will give you another life to fight for. 

June 27, 2017

Thanks for the Memories

A post shared by erin schabowski (@erinschabo) on

June 12, 2017

REVIEW: Unboxing The Darling VoxBox




It's VoxBox time again! This time, I'm unboxing the Darling VoxBox and letting you all know how much I loved these products. These products were tailored for the busy working moms of the world, and I gotta say, I'm impressed! If you aren't already an Influenster, you need to sign up and start getting free stuff. If it's free, it's for me!


eva nyc Hair Therapy Mask

The directions were unclear on whether to use this on dry or damp hair. I had to Google it to be sure. The verdict was the use it on wet hair after shampooing. It goes on like conditioner, and feels very similar. The minute I put it on my hair, I could feel it smoothing everything out and separating any tangles.

Live Well Baby Shampoo & Lotion

I used this a few times when I got it on my son, Cooper. The smell is really fresh. Something about baby shampoo scent just makes me so happy. But this shampoo lathers like CRAZY! I could only use very little otherwise there were bubbles all over the place. Might sub as a good bubble bath solution. I ended up switching back to our other brand for a little while because I couldn't handle how many bubbles there were. What I did love about this bottle was the size and portability. Sometimes Cooper goes to sleep at his grand parents' when we have things going on and it was the perfect sized bottle to throw into the diaper bag for his sleepovers. The lotion was just as good, and I could actually tell it helped his skin. Most baby lotions I use just slather around the surface of the skin, but this one actually was absorbed which made me feel great about continuing to use it. Cooper has rough dry skin so this was the perfect product for him.

Duncan Hines Cake in a Cup

Mug cake is one of the best Pintrest hacks there ever was, but what's better than that is Duncan Hines has done it all for you. This is the perfect sweet treat to keep in my desk drawer at work. All you need is some water (or milk) and a microwave. I tried it with almond milk to get that creamier taste without the upset stomach later. So delicious!

Nature's Bounty Energy Gummies

We are trying to conceive so I didn't use the Energy Gummies, but instead gave them to my 20 year-old sister to try and report back to me. She is always super busy and is a summer camp counselor, so figured she could use all the energy she could get. She's been using them for a couple weeks now and says she doesn't feel like they give her more energy and in fact had the opposite effect on her and made her tired. Too bad, because I've used other Nature's Bounty products before and always loved them. 

Country Crock Butter (coupon)

I haven't used my coupon yet, but we are a Country Crock Butter family anyway so I'll review one of the products I have sitting in my fridge that this coupon is for. This is always the go-to butter I grab. It tastes so much better than stick butter and it spreads so smoothly. The tub of this spread is the perfect size for storing in the door of our fridge. Hands down, the top butter related product I'll ever buy. My family has been using Country Crock since I was a little kid. Plus after the tubs are empty, I like to clean them out and re-purpose them as snack containers for Cooper's diaper bag. So much easier than taking big containers of snacks on the go.

___________________________________________________________

If you aren't currently an Influenster, you need to get on board! Who wouldn't want FREE stuff just to tell people how you like the product? I do it anyway, so why not get it for FREE? You can sign up HERE to become an Influenster. There is no cost to you and little commitment. All you have to do is follow the prompts to earn badges for each VoxBox, and get exclusive coupons for Influensters only.


**Thank you Influenster for the products for this review! I received all products mentioned above free for the purpose of review, but all opinions are my own.**

June 9, 2017

Friday Ramblings #4



Howdy! I know I skipped last Friday's ramblings. It was just too busy of a day at work to post, unfortunately!



*Flowers*
There is something about beautiful summer flowers that can just turn my mood right around. Unfortunately for me, I don't have a green thumb to save my life. In fact, I'm like the grim reaper of plants. My mother in law bought me a hanging petunia plant (because my husbands pet name for me is Petunia), and she ended up having to steal it back from my house this week to try and revive it because I almost killed it. Woops!

*Instagram Spammers*
Know what I hate about Instagram? The creeps who comment just to spam you. Like a couple months ago, I posted a photo of my mother in law with a link to her GoFundMe page and there was literally someone who commented something along the lines of  "Splendid! You should check out my page!" Like are you kidding? I lost it after seeing that and called him out like a total d-bag. Morale of the story, I don't "follow 4 follow" or "like 4 like". If I follow you on social media, it's because I enjoy keeping up with your story. Plain and simple. It's not going to get me a ton of followers, but the ones I do get I know will be as genuine as I am.



*DIY Home Projects*
I have a weird obsession with doing everything the cheapest and fastest way possible. And to do that, I just do it myself. This weekend (I hope) I am trying to find time to DIY contact paper my kitchen counter tops. I just think it will make them look SO different, and if it doesn't end up working out, I only wasted like $50. For me, that seems like a worthy DIY counter top hack. Of course it isn't a permanent fix, but until we are ready to remodel the kitchen, it will do. Contact paper has honestly become my saving grace for saving ugly furniture.


*Vacations*
I seriously will never get to have a real vacation for a long time. It sucks. It's so hard to find someone to baby sit Cooper while we are gone. We wanted to go to our favorite vacation spot, Block Island, for 2 nights but unfortunately can't find a sitter so we are cancelling. Everyone keeps saying "just bring him with you"....ummmmmm, ya no. That's not a vacation to me. That's me chasing an 18 month-old boy around who is miserable from the sand and sun and doesn't have any of his toys with him. I'm good. I'll stay home instead. :)

*Chores*
I had this vision when I was a kid that chores ended when you became and adult. Oh contraire! The chores get worse! Especially when the only kid you have to push it off to is only a baby. We have so much crap to do around our house..gutters need to be cleaned, our grass needs to be mowed, weeds need to be pulled. Who has time for this stuff?! I need a money tree to prune so I can just hire people. Gosh, I was meant to be a rich person.


*flower photo & counter top photos are not my own. compliments of pintrest*


June 7, 2017

The Bachelorette (Rachel) Recap + Predictions



I’m back with my beloved Bachelor/Bachelorette/BIP recaps and predictions. I’ll usually try to do this once or twice a season, but when I’m not recapping Bach here, I try to keep up with it on my Twitter (which you all should be following HERE).

Rachel, the historic Bachelorette (a.k.a. the first African-American bach)! I can’t tell you how excited I’ve been to watch Rachel. She is seriously any man’s dream…smart, beautiful, sassy, and she doesn’t play games. Love it! My kind of girl! But I’ll be honest, I’m a little ashamed on the producers this season. They really think their audience is so shallow and vapid that we just want all of the stereotypical entertainment candidates all on one season. It’s having the reverse effect on me.

ICYMI, here is what’s gone on so far and what I'm thinking of it:

- Rachel’s group of guys seem to be the most ludicrous group of contestants I’ve ever seen on this series. There are so many of them that are just so out there and clearly playing the Bachelor franchise game on who they think the cameras want to see. I had high hopes for this season, but I’m getting disappointed based on this group. Rachel deserves better than that. And shame on ABC for giving her some half assed casting group because you had to rush her season to start right after Dancing With The Stars. Basically, they are setting up all of the rejects from Rachel’s season to join Bachelor in Paradise this summer because they are running out of relevant former contestant to throw on there. Not fair! Now we have to see these dim witted idiots again in a couple months. Ugh!

- Rachel already had some dramz and sent a couple guys home. The first and most impressively able to pretend they don’t know someone is Demario. This guy had player written all over his face the second he walked into the mansion proclaiming he was her future husband hands down.



- Whaboom...really? This is really the best you get for entertainment? I mean, Chad Johnson was a douche in JoJo’s season, but at least he behaved like a normal human being for the most part. This guy is just…there are no words. And the fact that you’re making Rachel keep him around for more than the first night is just insanity. Please DO NOT bring him to paradise. I’m seriously begging.



- I'm sorry, but Fred (aka the little boy Rachel used to watch at summer camp when they were kids) is FRIGGEN ADORABLE! I can't believe she sent him home, but I totally get it. I don't know if I could get past the memory of him being a little a-hole as a kid either. 

-Rachel's adorable dog, Copper needs more screen time. That little fluff ball is pure television gold. So sweet!



-A group of guys had a group date on the Ellen show and it was everything. Alex dancing in the audience made my life.




I don't have any clear favorites so far, except for Kenny - the professional wrestler, daughter to a beautiful 10 year-old girl which he adores. He's the sweetest but he is still a man's man. My finalist picks are: Bryan (the Colombian), Dean (the Chris Soules replica), Eric (I can't remember what he does), and Peter (has a matching gap-tooth and it's the sweetest). 


Gimme some feedback! What are your thoughts on this season? Who do you love/hate? Who would you like to see in 


June 5, 2017

DIY Home Office Nook










Ya'll....I did a thing. I started my home office project. It's something I've been meaning to do for two years now, and after seeing some serious home office inspiration from some other bloggers last week, I became super motivated to just go for it. It is still a work in progress, but it has made me feel so much more productive with everything having a place. 

I've been really needing a space solely to work. On occasion my job allows me to work from home so I can care for my son when I don't have a babysitter or my husband home. Unfortunately, until now, the space consisted of being thrown up against the wall of my son's play room with my back turned to him, which wasn't ideal. I decided to switch up the layout of the room to allow me to be facing forward into the room, with my son and his play area directly in front of me. This way I can concentrate on work while still being alert of what's going on. 

Most of the things I used for this "remodel" were things I already had laying around. But I did pick up a few extras:

Desk - My version is a cheapie from Target (similar here) I originally bought to stick in a corner of my bedroom for homework. It's a bit shaky, so this will be something I'll probably upgrade later but it serves its purpose.

Rolling cart - I bought this from Target also, but IKEA has a similar version. This is so useful. Before, I was using it as my printer stand by screwing in the top shelf of the cart upside down. It worked, but was still a little small. Now, I'm using it as an extension of my desk to keep the clutter contained in one spot. 

File Holder - I purchased the Sugar Paper LA file folder holder thingy from Target last year and I've loved it! Its a great place for me to store magazines I'm in the middle of reading, mail I need to go through or just important things I'm working on. 

Desk Lamp - Lots of lighting is a must. Sometimes I can be up late doing something for work, homework or even writing blog posts. So as not to bother my sleeping beauties, I used a small desk lamp, which I actually got for free from an energy efficient light bulb bulk order. The stark white color goes perfect with my decor. 

Marble Contact Paper - This was the most dramatic change of my office space. I hated how boring my desk was. I found THIS marble print contact paper on Amazon to cover the top of the desk. It took about 20 minutes, a pair of scissors and an extra set of hands to achieve a whole new look to my boring desk. Plus, it brightens up the space so much. This has become my new favorite thing. I ended up ordering a heavy duty version and I'm going to try a counter top cover up DIY (stay tuned for that!). 

Marble Dry Erase Board - Jotting quick reminder down or just displaying my favorite photos is a great addition to my formerly drab space. I found mine (very similar here) at Target for $10!

Chair - This chair is just an old padded folding chair that I threw a bohemian roundie from my Spring FabFitFun box on the back. It gives it a pop of color and hides the folding chair. This will work for now until I've found the chair I really want. 

Storage space - I've had a set of plastic drawers with this hard wood top for years and I've found endless uses for it. I decided to pull it out and use it to store all my random crap. I have an entire drawer of cords and headphones, a craft drawer, a planner drawer, and all sorts of goodies. The hard top served as the perfect place to put my printer and keeps it out of the way of my work space. 

I still need to add some wall decor and am debating on what sort of things I'd like to add just yet. My favorite part of it is all the mind metals. There are golds, silvers and rose golds and they all seem to shine together. 

Have any ideas of wall decor I could add? Would love some suggestions!


May 31, 2017

Mid-day Relaxation Tips for Work









Atmosphere
Keep the atmosphere at your desk bright, cheery and just full of things that make you smile. My favorite item to have around is a Yankee Candle Fragrance sphere. Since I work in an office building, I can't burn a candle at my desk. This gives me a whiff of my favorite scents without a fire hazard. Also, I found this really cute rose gold holder to put it in that goes with my decor. Win-win! Another thing I love to have around are plants. For years I had a bamboo plant at my desk that just recently died. Last week I had a bad week, so my boss brought in some Gerber daisies for me and they have become my new desk buddy.

Self-Care
As a busy mommy, I don't have time to primp at home most days. Instead, I use my three minutes of downtime at work to do this. I always keep lotion at my desk (it's so dry in office buildings), this Evian facial spray (I wrote a review on it here), a few lip balm options and cuticle cream. This LUSH cuticle cream is my all time favorite and it smells like Pez candies.


Refreshments
I'm a grazer. I rarely eat big meals so I always keep goodies to snack on in my drawers. You will never find me at my desk without water and coffee. I try to keep a few healthy snack options in my drawer like granola or NuGo bars, dried cranberries, and fruit. I do sneak a couple pieces of candy for when I'm really craving something sweet. I almost always did a mid-afternoon coffee/tea run. There is something about grabbing a fresh cup that just wakes me up and re energizes me for the rest of the day.


How do you relax at work when things get stressful?

SHOP THE POST




May 29, 2017

An Open Letter to My New Step-Father & Step-Brother

photo credit: Sophie Charron Photography


Hey Guys,

Welcome to our family! I’m here to warn you about what you’re in for as we begin to meld a family of bachelors with a family of women.

As you know, you’ve not only married my mother, but also her three (count ‘em, THREE) daughters, her son-in-law and her grandson. We can be a bit of a handful. So let me give you the rundown on what you’ve missed over the years and what to expect in a family of women.

See, growing up in a house full of ladies led to some life lessons every man should know as they enter a family of girls. For instance, when someone says they are “fine”, they are in fact NOT fine. And while men tend to quietly keep to themselves, we are into each other’s business constantly. We need to know the details.

Ariana is the typical baby of the family. She’s also the smartest, most reserved and most likely to NOT strike up a conversation. It’s not a sign she doesn’t like you. Ari is just a serious, determined, and practical individual. She missed the social gene that you’ll soon see I received.

Alyse is the unexpected one. Growing up she was quiet, super reserved and not very social. Alyse was a homebody. She ironically became the only one of us brave enough to get up and leave home to follow her dreams. She’s determined and inspiring. Her role was always the peace keeper in the family as Ari and I almost killed each other growing up. Weirdly enough, Ari and I now live together. Go figure.

And myself. Well, as I’m sure you’ve come to know…I run the show. I’m bossy, loud and have always been a social butterfly. I’m protective of my family in all the best and worst ways. I will be the person to butt into everyone’s business so I can make sure they make the “right” decisions. I drive my sisters insane and they roll their eyes at me constantly. But I don’t care. I’m the second mom. I make the rules. I’m exhausted 98% of the time and you’ll rarely see me on the weekends in anything but my pajamas from the night before. Because who has time for that? Growing up I was the one who gave my mom all her gray hairs, I didn’t follow rules, and I was dramatic. I still am sometimes.

While we are all very different, we all share the same common feeling in this family…love.

You may be questioning how you both will fit into our lives, or how we will fit into yours. So I’m here to suggest something. What I’ve come to learn over the years is family is a very ambiguous term. Family to me is not those who share your bloodline. It’s the people who are there for you no matter what. The people who care about your well-being. The people who share joy with you during your accomplishments and feel pain with you when you are sad. The people who you can crack a beer with and make fun of the stupid mistakes they made over the years. That is family. Our family is not gaining a step-father and step-brother. We are gaining a second father and a new brother to me and my sisters. A father-in-law and a brother-in-law to my husband. A grandfather and an uncle to my son.

The rule in our family is no matter how close we are or how far apart, no matter how much we yell or cry or want to rip the other’s head off, we are still always there for each other no matter what. Welcome to our family, and feel free to call us crazy at some point…because we totally are.


Love,
Erin

May 26, 2017

Friday Ramblings #3



*Another Half Day*
With the holiday weekend, we normally get out around 12pm which is amazing. My sister is up visiting this weekend from Nashville because my mother is getting married tomorrow! It's so nice to have my family all together for a weekend. It's such a rare occasion for us. We are all meeting for pedicures after work.

*Spray Tans*
I'm obsessed with spray tans. I really am. And if you don't believe me, read THIS. I just wish I could afford to look beautifully tan all the time without worrying about skin cancer like I am with a spray tan. I guess that's the price you pay for safe beauty. 

*Little Rhody*
I'm feeling extremely Rhode Island today. It's pouring out this morning and all I could think to do was put on my coziest and warmest clothes in my Spring closet. So I've settled on this L.L. Bean Fisherman Tunic, a pair of leggings, a monogrammed baseball hat and my Jack Rogers sandals. Throw a Columbia rain coat over it and I swear to God it was like I went back in time to college in Newport. Then it made me miss Newport and want to take a trip there soon. It really is one of my favorite places in Rhode Island, aside from all the tourists. But Newport this time of year is so fun. I'm like Moana, the ocean just calls me.

*Traffic in the Rain*
Like, I don't get it. It rains all the time. Why is it that people forget what it's like to drive in the rain? Any time that it rains here, the traffic is INSANE! And there isn't even an accident to blame it on. People are just break jobbing each other and driving 20 mph on the highway. Maybe the rain just makes people fall asleep while driving. I won't lie, it makes me sleepy sometimes. I'm already planning an afternoon nap for today.

*Blogger Friends*
Gosh, starting a blog was one of the best decisions I ever made. There are so many cool and interesting people in the blog community that I never would have "met" if I hadn't started this. Honestly, it's amazing. And people are SO supportive of one another. I had someone I'd never spoken to before DM me on Instagram last night just to tell me they can't wait to start reading more. That made me feel so good! 


What's everyone up to for the long weekend? Like I mentioned, my mom is getting married so that's pretty much what I'll be up to all weekend.

May 25, 2017

Nordstrom Half-Yearly Sale




The word SALE is a moth to a flame for me. I can't help it. But the Nordstrom sales are usually my absolute favorite! It amazes me the things you can find for 40% off! Yesterday, I picked up the perfect pair of Jack Rogers sandals to match a Lily Pulitzer dress I am wearing for my mom's wedding and I paid almost half the price. You really cannot beat that. 

I'm really feeling all the springy pastel colors this sale. The Rebecca Minkoff backpack is just a gorgeous pebble leather that you can't beat. It would be perfect for day trips during the summer. Most of the items I tagged below are around $50 and under and totally worth getting yourself something special. 

What are some of your favorite items you've found at the sale so far?


SHOP THE POST



May 23, 2017

Favorite #OOTD Posts


Shoes: Sam Edelman | Trousers: Cynthia Rowley | Sweater: BP. | Handbag: Dooney & Bourke | Scarf: Handmade - Etsy shop


Swing Dress: Forever21 | Shoes: Sam Edelman | Handbag: BP. | Necklace: Alex & Ani


Blazer: H&M | Tank Top: Express | Shorts: NY & Company | Shoes: Sam Edelman | Necklace: H&M 


Dress: H&M | Shoes: Express | Coil Bracelet & Necklace: Francesca's


Dress: Lily Pulitzer (Rent the Runway) | Shoes: Sam Edelman | Necklace: Alex & Ani 


Sweater: Not sure, TJ Maxx find | Jeans: American Eagle | Booties: Fergalicious | Handbag: Coach (the pebble leather is GORGEOUS)


Sweater: Forever21 | Trousers: Cynthia Rowley | Booties: TOMS


Swing Dress: Forever21 | Scarf: BP. | Boots: Bamboo 



Mmm yea. I'm a bit of a selfie queen. My friends think it's ridiculous and I don't care. :) But my #OOTD selfies are always my favorite. Usually I have to really be digging what I'm wearing to take one. And to be honest with you, most of my outfits are really not that complicated. But that's the point...feeling good in whatever you wear doesn't need to be a complicated process. 

Things I've learned from my selfies are that:
 1) I tend to stick with solid colors. Prints scare me sometimes unless I keep them limited to accessories.

2) I really like neutral footwear. So the reason for this is because I keep an entire drawer full of shoes at work. And all of these shoes I keep only in this drawer. They rarely go home with me unless I have something to wear them to. So most of them have to be a neutral tone to go with any outfit I have planned. This allows me to swap out shoes through out the day if I get uncomfortable and also my shoes last a lot longer from now wearing outside much. 

3) I hold coffee/items in my hand a lot when taking selfies. IDK, I just feel like my hands look so awkward without it. Ha! 

I need some selfie tips....dish em'!


May 19, 2017

Friday Ramblings #2



*Half Day*

I decided to take a half day today for reasons I’d rather not share just yet. But honestly, I just needed some time to decompress and put myself in the right head space. This week has been more stressful than things have been in a while and I’m so ready to just hit refresh and start over.

*Day Drinking*

Why don’t I day drink more often?! It is so much fun! Oh yea...I have a kid. That’s why. I serious miss the days when I worked nights for some crappy job I didn’t care about and I could go out for lunch with my friends and have a couple beers at lunch before going to work. I seriously just didn’t care. Plus those jobs a monkey could do with his eyes shut.

*New England Weather*

It’s friggen crazy! On Monday, I wore a sweater to work because it was in the 50’s and raining. Yesterday, it was 95 degrees and sunny. We put two A/Cs in at our house and had all the fans running and were still hot. My poor body is like stressed out because it doesn’t know how to handle this weather anymore. I. Can’t. Even.


*Lazy Blogger*

I really am such a lazy blogger. It might be why my blog is named after a sloppy hair style and a pair of clothing you eat chocolate in a lone on your couch on a Friday night with your cats. Like today would be the PERFECT day to plan new material, go take some photos, etc. And yet, here I am…sitting at a bar named after a thirsty rodent and rambling on about nothing.

*Front Porches*

Okay this is a special one…I LOVE houses with front porches. My ultimate goal in life has always been to own a house that I can sit and relax on with a drink or a cup of coffee and just watch my neighborhood do it’s thang. And I have that…sort of. Except mine is full of junk I need to get rid of but don't have time to. So I guess technically, I don't even have time to sit ON the porch with a drink. Sigh. Mo' money, mo' problems.

May 17, 2017

5 Best Products for the Person Who Hates Make-Up





Okay. Let’s get right down to it…I hate wearing make up. And if you’ve followed me on Instagram or know me IRL, you know that about me. I rarely wear it, am fortunate enough to have pretty manageable skin where I don’t feel I need to, and I try to avoid it at all costs. I hate the way it feels on my face and I hate washing it off later. So I’m compiling a short list of low-cost, easy to use products even the girl who hates make up can wear on a regular basis without feeling like they are covered in make up.


Moisturizer

I typically have combination skin with some spots that are super dry and others that are super oily, but I still like to use a moisturizer with SPF for the protection from the sun. I personally really like just a regular old Olay moisturizer because of how light it feels. I just put a small dot on my finger and apply a thin layer wherever I have dry spots.

BB Cream

Okay – I know BB Cream is supposed to include a moisturizer in it as well, but I just don’t think it’s enough. What I do love about BB cream is I get the light coverage that I need without feeling like I have makeup caked on. I just started using this Maybelline BB Cream. It’s affordable and works pretty well. If you are looking for a little more coverage, I suggest using CoverGirl Matte BB cream. For some reason, this one feels a bit thicker that the Maybelline version and works great also! It’s also made for oily skin so it won’t make you feel like you have too much on. If you really want to be cheap and not purchase a separate BB cream, use a foundation you already have and mix it with a dot or two of your moisturizer. I’ve done this before and it’s really helped to dilute the heavy feeling of a foundation. I’m sure all your beauty bloggers are gasping at that but hey, I’m cheap too.

Mascara

I suffer with chronically looking like I’m exhausted as well as having super thin eye lashes. It’s the worst. For some reason just one or two coats of black mascara does the trick. Daily, I use Maybelline Great Lash. It’s cheap and works really well. My all time favorite though is the Benefit They’re Real mascara. I always use black mascara because my lashes are super dark. Plus I feel like it makes your eyes pop.

Black/Brown Eyeliner

I always look more put together simply by pulling a small amount of dark eyeliner on my inner lids. Rimmel is my all time favorite. The Special Eyes version doesn’t seem to smudge easily and goes on smooth.

Brow Pencil

I can’t go a day without using a brow pencil. If you’re like me and your brows just don’t seem to want to grow in certain spots, this is a life saver. My ultimate favorite is the Benefit Precisely, My Brow pencil. It’s super small so you can really imitate the hair strokes when applying it and it blends in with my natural color so well. My close second is the Anastasia brow pencil


And honestly, unless I’m going out somewhere on the weekends or at night that is pretty much all I will use for make up. Anyone have any good tricks for those who believe less is more?


SHOP THE POST



May 15, 2017

Summer Fun

Summer Fun




Summer is coming!
Finally!! This is the first full week of warm sunny weather we will be having here in RI (with the exception of today) and I am so excited to start breaking out my summer goodies. I need color! I need tassels and straw and sandals. I need to sit on my porch with some iced tea and just chill out. I need to go hang out with my bestie by the lake with our kiddos and stick my feet in the sand.

I’m totally not looking forward to a bathing suit – mom bod just hasn’t bounced back as much as I’d hoped, but I am totally looking forward to all the summer accessories. I’ve always been into super vibrant and bright colored things. Anything that is loud or pops is for me. So much so that when I received my first Burberry scarf as a gift, it wasn’t even the traditional Burberry plaid, but a rainbow multicolored plaid scarf and it was so perfect for my personality. So yea, I’m pretty pumped for summer. 

I am really into straw totes with fun details, or bright colored jumpsuits. I’ve found a new love for jumpsuits, as long as I can find them in petite sizes. Short girl probz. 



SHOP THE POST



May 12, 2017

Friday Ramblings



I've decided to switch things up for Fridays. Sometimes, we just need a day to freeflow thoughts and Fridays are now my day. So from now on, we will just be rambling on Friday about what's going on, some random thoughts I had and things that are weird. Enjoy!





* Attic Remodel *
We are officially beginning out attic master suite conversion tomorrow and I couldn't be more excited. This is a HUGE project I never thought we'd be able to do for years and we have decided to get a move on it. The contractor is stopping by tomorrow morning to go through our plans and discuss the process and I can't wait. We were so lucky when we moved in to have such a huge open space up there to do whatever we wanted with it, and the previous owners had already installed beautiful hardwood floors. Above are photos of the actual space and what I hope for it to look like some day.


*Reviving my blog*
I've been so MIA lately on my blog. I've been so torn on what I wanted to do with it. I can't figure out the direction it is moving and to be honest, I didn't like the way it was making me feel. Blogging is so competitive and it's so hard to not compare yourself to others or find yourself trying to mirror other successful bloggers. I needed to take a step back and reevaluate why I was doing it and what I wanted to get out of it. Otherwise it's just another phony blog. I really want to just focus on posting things as they come to my mind and having more fun with it. I also am thinking of incorporating some video blog posts to change things up a bit. Let me know if there is something you guys want to see! :)


*Spending Fast*
I was inspired this week by Annaliese from Southern Belle in Training to begin a spending fast. If we are going to begin our attic conversion, it's really time to start pinching pennies and stop spending on unnecessary things. So I've decided to start with a similar 4 week spending fast which means I cannot spend money on unnecessary personal items (coffees, clothes, shoes, etc.). The only exceptions to this rule are things for the house, grocery shopping, and things for Cooper. Everything else goes to savings. That also means no more alcohol and eating out for awhile. :)


*Random Thoughts*
Why is it so cold in office building. It's like they purposely design these building to put vents directly over your cube that blast cold air at you. It's already only like 50 degrees out! There is no need for air conditioning. I'm wearing a sweater in May and am covered by a fleece blanket right now and I'm still freezing. I can only drink so many hot drinks to keep myself warm.

Also, there is a serious caterpillar infestation in New England right now and it's disgusting. These teeny tiny little caterpillars are all over my porch furniture, our stroller, Cooper's toys, I find them on my car and clothes when I walk outside. Ugh! The worst part is when they are on your skin they give you a rash. Wonderful! It looks like we will be hibernating all spring and summer inside or by the lake to avoid these disgusting creatures.


May 11, 2017

Instagram Round Up





Hey guys! Since being on a hiatus, I haven't posted an Instagram Round-Up in a long time! So for time-sake, I'll cut to the chase and get to the really good parts. Also, don't forget you can shop my looks at the bottom of this post.

A post shared by erin schabowski (@erinschabo) on


In Las Vegas, I rocked one of my favorite dresses from H&M (old). It is super comfy, the perfect shape and has POCKETS!!



A post shared by erin schabowski (@erinschabo) on


This look is one of my favorite business casual looks. The classic navy trousers work with almost everything and these loose fitting v-neck sweaters from Abercrombie are perfection for either work or home.


A post shared by erin schabowski (@erinschabo) on


This was a huge DIY project I had been dying to start since we moved in. I discovered stick-on vinyl tiles while shopping one day and decided for a total of $100, it was worth a try as a temporary improvement on our kitchen until we are ready to someday do the big remodel. They came out fantastic and I have gotten so many compliments!


A post shared by erin schabowski (@erinschabo) on

I splurged on myself and got the Fawn Design diaper bag that everyone has raved about! This diaper bag really is all it is cracked up to be. So much space, so many pockets, and it looks so trendy!


A post shared by erin schabowski (@erinschabo) on

Hubs and I took a day a few weeks ago and shipped up to Boston for a Red Sox game. It was so good to get away and just enjoy ourselves as a couple. We hadn't gone to a game since before we got our house!


This Kate Spade krya tote has become my favorite bag ever. It is the perfect size to carry all the necessities without being bulky. Also, I started using the Mini Happy Planner as my every day planner and it's perfect. It's a great size for portability.


I really had an obsession with v-neck sweaters right now. But these are the best transition sweaters for spring. They are light, loose knit and the colors are so springy!



I got a major haircut! I'm trying out the LOB (long bob) haircut and so far I'm LOVING it! It's so easy to maintain and I get an extra 15 minutes back in the morning from not having to figure out what to do with my mop. Also, these sunnies give me life.


SHOP THE POST