July 13, 2016

5 Ways to Keep the Spark Alive

For anyone who has children, you know it’s hard to find time alone with your significant other. Everything becomes all about the kids, and your relationship tends to be pushed to the side for when you have time. It’s so important to try to resist the instinct to focus all your attention on the kids and just assume your relationship will stay exactly the same. It doesn’t. That’s why it is super important to make every effort to keep that spark between you and your partner after kids.



I am not blind to the fact that this isn’t always so easy. Since my son has been born (5 months), I think Tim and I have had a total of two dates alone. It’s just not always easy to find a sitter, and sometimes you just don’t want to go through with the hassle of bundling the baby up to go out. However, to make up for the times you can’t be available to pick up and go, try a few of these fun tricks to keep that connection strong between you and your bae.

Check out a comedy show.

When your parents offer to watch the baby, you TAKE that opportunity and make the most of it. One of my favorite dates is going to a comedy club. It’s such a fun and relaxing way to blow off steam with your hubby. A lot of comics tend to touch on family-life humor as well, which helps you not feel so crazy. Having a good laugh with my husband always puts us in a better mood, and makes us feel like we are still courting. In fact, we went to a comedy club as one of our first dates!

Dinner & errands without rushing

Tim and I unfortunately don’t get to do this often because we work opposite schedules, but if you have too much to get done and can’t swing a night out to relax, try having someone watch your kids while you and your partner run errands together. Sometimes I find doing mundane tasks with Tim gives us time to unwind and just be with each other. I know there are some late nights where Tim and I just chat while washing and drying dishes together. Or trips to Home Depot where we wander down the aisles chatting about all the cool reno-ideas we have for our house. If you are out together running errands, grab a bite to eat together on the way home. Any alone time is time to connect.

Just kick back!

Some of my favorite moments with my husband are spent doing absolutely nothing. When we were house hunting, we both were insistent on finding a place with a great front porch. We love sitting outside on a cool summer night, after Cooper is in bed, with a beer and just talking about our day, things going on in our life, and how cute our son is. Alternatively, I usually will hang out in our bedroom with him when he gets home from work and needs to change and clean up. It is only five minutes together, but they are super helpful in just giving us time to really talk to each other.

Pretend to be strangers on vacation.

This is a really funny one. We go away for a night to Block Island, RI once a year. One time when we were out for the evening at BI, we decided to pretend to be strangers and Tim would hit on me at the bar. I sent him to sit on the opposite side of the bar as me, and give me the eyes. When I got impatient, I texted him to come give me a pick up line. Tim even went as far as to ask the person sitting on the side of me if I was his girlfriend. It was so much fun to feel like we were in the butterfly honeymoon stage of our relationship again. We still laugh about it today.

Disconnect in the evenings and create rituals.

This is a big one that we are trying to get better at. Shut off your phones, computer, tablets at night! I can’t tell you how many times Tim and I are speaking to each other with our faces buried in our iPhones. It’s so sad and pathetic really. Institute a no phones policy after a certain time in your home. Instead, opt for a weekly ritual that you both do together, like cooking dinner together, working in the garden (this one may be harder to do with the kids awake), or just catching a tv show together every week. Tim and I like to watch the Bachelorette together every week. Before that, we would binge watch One Tree Hill after the baby was in bed.

What are some rituals you and your partner have to stay connected with each other?

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